it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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