she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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