there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
