I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
