Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
