this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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