Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize