Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
