I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
