i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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