i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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