some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize