I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
