I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
