Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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