I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
