we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
