We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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