she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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