i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
