big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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