the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
