i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
