How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
