This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
