I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
