Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
