Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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