im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
