you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
