Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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