Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
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