i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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