I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
