hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
