I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
