Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
either way he was missing a nipple.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
