you guys were way drunker than both of me
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
