Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
