coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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