I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize