i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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