The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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