i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
