And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
