Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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