I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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