I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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