Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
