A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
