the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize