is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Boobs are out for the taking
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
