Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
