Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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