Screwed.edu
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
