My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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