grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize