you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
