I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
