Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
