We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
