I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
